Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
