I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
