We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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