I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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