when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize