Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
