the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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