But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
