...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
