Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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