Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
