I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
