I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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