So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
