Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We have so much sex to catch up on
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
