I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
