I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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