Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
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we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
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GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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