absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
