Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
