The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
