Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
