Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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