i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
