I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
