Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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