drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
