your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
