he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
