How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize