D3 body, D1 cock
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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