I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
