yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
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i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
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You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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