Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
