Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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