the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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