I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
