What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
