Its about making memories worth repressing
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
