its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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