You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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