The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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