We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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