You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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