8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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