yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
