sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
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normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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