You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
