Midget sex pt 2 tonight
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
