I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
