We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I believe in your delicious
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
