I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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