She's JV to your varsity
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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