Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
