I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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