Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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